Thoughts on a very late Friday night...

I hadn't blogged anything random in a long time, and maybe the next blog will be more random bloggage, but this isn't it tonight.

Rather, this entry here is a blog that has a specific purpose. It is to let some personal feelings out, let some emotions out and just decompress.

The person this is about, will not see this blog until a time I specifically decide to let her see. She will know in time why I wrote this.

See, 8 years ago, I had a crush on this girl named Shelley. I still love her today, as much as it hurts to admit it. We went to high school together. But her life took a turn I never saw coming, and she kinda lost her way. About two years ago she had a beautiful little girl, whose name is Mollee. That helped Shelley grow up quickly, and she turned back to the right path.

By 2007, I was somewhat back in her life. I didn't really know much. She's been dating this decent guy named Jason for awhile now (I think 2 years), but...here's the problem...I still have feelings toward her, as I pointed out. She now knows that, as I revealed it to her one week ago.

Today, however, she told me she wasn't comfortable around me. I was just being my natural, somewhat flirty self, but I think it was too much. I wish I'd known. I wish she'd told me. I wish...I still wish...that I had never had to worry about this sort of thing happening.

I wish she was mine.

I wrote the following poem late last Sunday night...and I am sharing this with you all as a glimpse into my heart and my feelings...

Feelings I Can't Hide

There's things that we all wish we did
And feelings we should have shared
For me, those feelings go back eight years
And never have left since

You were one of the people I met
Way back when I was still young
We're still young, actually
But we're not 16 anymore

I held on to all of this for years
I never shared it
I never let you see it
For fear I might be broken

I'm 8 years older now
And I'm 8 years wiser
But these 8 years made it impossible
To act on all the things I felt back then

Today I still feel this love
I realize I let you get away
I never thought I'd wind up sharing
But these feelings, I can't hide anymore

It took me 8 years to let it all out
But I finally have done it
Shelley, I may never get a second chance
But so you know, I love you

Written by Jeremy S. Moses
January 26, 2009 1:20am

My second ever award

I received the Attitude and Gratitude award from Randy of "The Way I See It" fame. Here was his comment:

Jeremy ---- who always tries to inform his local community of anything going on in the area.

Now, I will nominate a bunch of blogs.

WIXY's Gone Bananas, aka Cliff: For his wisdom and encouragement.
Michelle Dawn of Rusin Roundup: Just simply because from what I see, she's a great example that a good attitude can get ya through anything.
Suzanne Horne: She may be gone, but she's never forgotten and is missed every day.
Suz the Busy Bee: For maintaining a positive attitude no matter HOW busy she is!
Shellmo of Building a Log Cabin: What a great spirit. Always very welcoming, and can find ways to have fun on these blogs!
Pat J: Funny! Enough said!
Jen of Unglazed: Just because like several others here, she's so positive!
HWHL(Happy Wife, Happy Life):Like the title of her blog, she's...well, a happy wife!
Remember Love Canal: A very reflective blog, always full of thoughts.
Amias: She continues to plug away, and even helped when Suzanne passed away by turning Suzanne's blog into a place where people could link their tributes. For this alone, she would get the award, but she also helps other friends as well.

I think that's all I have...

A very quick update...

Still no internet at home but, I will just let ya in on a couple of the recent happenings.

1) I am no longer a DJ for BabyDolls Radio. Soon, I will be in a NEW radio home, but, that has still yet to be finalized. Keep an eye out...however, I WILL be doing a show January 30 with my fellow DJ and longtime friend K-I-D (aka Mikey Taylor) 1-3pm ET/10am-noon PT. Again, keep an eye out.

2) Still nothing to tell you about the other personal issues. I'll be dealing with those over the next week or so.

3) The previous injury I had did heal, it turned out to be a slightly pulled muscle, nothing big.

I'll be back later this week with more information on the first two points. Keep the good thoughts coming and Courage + Belief = Life,

Jeremy

Quick Post to Request Prayers, and Inform.

Hello everyone,

I am writing this blog from my mom and stepdad's computer. My wireless card pretty much took a dump on me earlier in the week. That card is what allows me to receive internet to my computer.

This means I won't be updating this blog, at least over the upcoming weekend.

That's the information part. Now, the prayer request:

In the process of attempting to fix said internet issue, I have pulled my left pectoral muscle. Those muscles are, as I have found out, pretty crucial to me being able to move around my house, my neighborhood, and indeed, my town.

This injury has severely restricted my mobility for several days, and by the looks of things, maybe a couple more days of restriction are ahead.

I do hope to be full speed by Monday as far as mobility, but I have no idea how long it'll take to get my internet up.

Meantime, pray for me, and I will see you on the other side of this...

Courage + Belief = LIFE

Jeremy

Winter weather update

It's a bad morning for travel across much of the eastern US.

Freezing rain will change to rain for most in Ohio, Kentucky and southern Indiana.

Wintry precipitation will continue north and west of there, however throughout the day.

Also, parts of PA have Ice Storm Warnings in effect for today and tomorrow due to expected ice accumulations of 1/4" to 1/3".

WINTER WEATHER ALERT - OH/KY/IN

It is looking like a very interesting day tomorrow across parts of the midwest.

For those in MI, this storm will miss northern Michigan, but for southeast Michigan, including Detroit, as well as much of Indiana and all of Northern Ohio, this will be a wintry event entirely. Up to 4 inches of snow could fall by the time all is said and done Thursday and, on the southern periphery, light icing.

For those in the Ohio Valley south of but north of I-64, there will be wintry precipitation, transitioning to all rain then back to snow. There are winter weather advisories posted from Terre Haute, Indiana to Columbus, Ohio to Pittsburgh, PA.

From I-64 southward and I-65 eastward in eastern and southern Kentucky, it will be all rain. Eastern KY/TN/N GA all have flood watches posted for parts of Tuesday.

Stay tuned, we'll follow it here and if there's any critical information, you'll find out here.

A quick note on an early Monday morning.

This morning, I alerted readers to my other blog, Tri-State Media Watch, of a change in email addresses, from dj_jmos22_2007@yahoo.com to tristatemediawatch@gmail.com.

I want my readers to this blog to know, this blog is NOT affected by that change.

Readers to this blog can send any personal emails they like to the yahoo email. I still check that email. However, I am making this move to allow for separation between the Tri-State Media Watch emails, and the personal ones.

Making a Very Personal Choice In Life.

Today, I went to church and sat under the hearing of my wonderful pastor, Dr. Timothy Alexander. The sermon today was about how we should be living life in our New Year.

You see, we have a tendency to say "Tomorrow, I'm going to go here, spend some time, do something, and make a profit out of it." Something to that effect anyway.

The reality is, we're not promised another day. Heck, we are not even promised another hour. Our time could be up at any point. As James 4:14 says "You do not even know what tomorrow holds."

That's not meant to depress. Rather, it's meant to encourage you to do something. Go ahead and make your plans. But instead of saying "I'm going to do this" and having that be it, instead say, "If God wills it, tomorrow, I will live and do this or that."

That being said, I shall now talk about the personal choice in my life.

During that sermon today, I could feel God tugging on my heart. I went up to the altar, just got down and prayed. I told Him that "whatever you will for me, I'll do it."

And I fully believe that He is calling me to minister to my community.

Now, how I am going to do this, is not clear to me at this point. God will reveal His plans for me in time. But, I want to make one thing clear: Whatever He wills, I must do.

I've been told that in one way, I already DO have a working ministry to my city, my region, and my world. By getting up and living every day, I show people that hey, life as a disabled person can be tough, but with God's help, I can do it. And that no matter what you might go through in life, if you let Him take control, you'll make it.

Now, I desire to make this ministry known, full speed. It's just figuring out how God wants to use me.

Any Christian brothers and sisters who read this, please pray for me, that I might hear what He wills for my life.

Courage + Belief = LIFE

I love y'all,

Jeremy

I have received a Top Banana Award!

Cliff, of WIXY's Gone Bananas, Whattville is on the Other Side of the Tracks and Seek Him First fame, who has been a follower of mine pretty much from the beginning of BOTH my blogs, has awarded me with what he called the "The Doctor Johnny Fever Top Banana" award for this blog and of course Tri-State Media Watch. :) Here's what Cliff had to say in giving me the nod:

"The Doctor Johnny Fever Top Banana, or seeing that I already have one reference to WKRP, goes to Jeremy, of Tri-State Media Watch, and Personal Thoughts/Observations from N KY fame. This is an amazing young man, who has taken to this particular group of bloggers. Jeremy is an internet disc jockey, and a born again Christian. I think Jeremy has gotten this blogging thing down pat."

I humbly accept this award. Thank you so much Cliff. It means a lot to me that only 2 months into my blogging existence here, someone would honor my contributions.

Revealing a Part of My Past.

I have decided to reveal something in my past that not too many outside my circle of close friends and family know, but that would be beneficial for all to understand.

Two years ago, on 1/17/07, I was very close to ending my own life. I was depressed. I didn't really have any peace in my world. There was nothing but turmoil, nothing but personal pain and suffering.

I didn't have a gun. I didn't grab a knife. I wanted a more painless way to end it all. So, I was prepared to take a 15 foot dive, over a banister, to the basement below.

I did not go through with it on that dark, cold January night in 2007.

Why? Because I realized, even though I wouldn't actually hear it until 2008, that courage plus belief equaled life. I needed the courage to get help...the belief I could get better...and that would bring me a happier life.

Have there been bumps in the road? Yes.

Have I had down days, or weeks, since? Yes.

But have I wanted to kill myself? No.

And I'm glad for that. I've had my rough times, to be sure, over the last two years. But thank God, it's not gotten that bad since January 17, 2007.

Time to do an introduction...

OK folks, here's an intro for you.

Gooljo97 has a new blog called "fine cuppa joe". It's a blog about coffeehouse culture. As gooljo97 himself notes, this includes "writing, literature, art and photography, music, theatre, off-the-wall discussions and pretty much whatever I feel like posting up" about coffeehouses and such things in Cincinnati, Louisville, Lexington, and other places as he finds them.

Go drop by and welcome him to the blogosphere.