Saturday, January 3, 2009

Revealing a Part of My Past.

I have decided to reveal something in my past that not too many outside my circle of close friends and family know, but that would be beneficial for all to understand.

Two years ago, on 1/17/07, I was very close to ending my own life. I was depressed. I didn't really have any peace in my world. There was nothing but turmoil, nothing but personal pain and suffering.

I didn't have a gun. I didn't grab a knife. I wanted a more painless way to end it all. So, I was prepared to take a 15 foot dive, over a banister, to the basement below.

I did not go through with it on that dark, cold January night in 2007.

Why? Because I realized, even though I wouldn't actually hear it until 2008, that courage plus belief equaled life. I needed the courage to get help...the belief I could get better...and that would bring me a happier life.

Have there been bumps in the road? Yes.

Have I had down days, or weeks, since? Yes.

But have I wanted to kill myself? No.

And I'm glad for that. I've had my rough times, to be sure, over the last two years. But thank God, it's not gotten that bad since January 17, 2007.

4 comments:

74WIXYgrad said...

Well Jeremy, I am glad that you decided that the world with you was a better place than the world without you. I also want to thank you for being a follower of my wife's blog. I feel that anything you would be able to add will be appreciated by Kathy, and other readers of her blog.

Shellmo said...

Jeremy - I'm glad you have courage and belief! I have learned so much from you (including those 2 words above) in the short time I've been visiting your blog. Blog on!

Michelle Dawn said...

I'm glad of your decision too I really enjoy your blog and I also have a post about suicide.

coltfan said...

I have myself thought about it .michelle dawn and I had some major issues this past summer. I didn't know how to handle it .I had severe mood swings and thoughts of saying " screw it all" But I would never put family through that, most of all my kids . I will not rob them of a dad , And call it selfish but I personally don't want my children callin someone else dad if I were to die. the whole thing creeps me out . Remember jeremy every decision you make in life does not always affect you. suicide is not the way , no matter how hard life gets. I am glad you chose not to , If you need someone to talk to I am always available .