I have decided to reveal something in my past that not too many outside my circle of close friends and family know, but that would be beneficial for all to understand.
Two years ago, on 1/17/07, I was very close to ending my own life. I was depressed. I didn't really have any peace in my world. There was nothing but turmoil, nothing but personal pain and suffering.
I didn't have a gun. I didn't grab a knife. I wanted a more painless way to end it all. So, I was prepared to take a 15 foot dive, over a banister, to the basement below.
I did not go through with it on that dark, cold January night in 2007.
Why? Because I realized, even though I wouldn't actually hear it until 2008, that courage plus belief equaled life. I needed the courage to get help...the belief I could get better...and that would bring me a happier life.
Have there been bumps in the road? Yes.
Have I had down days, or weeks, since? Yes.
But have I wanted to kill myself? No.
And I'm glad for that. I've had my rough times, to be sure, over the last two years. But thank God, it's not gotten that bad since January 17, 2007.
Christmas at the Log Cabin
6 months ago