Thursday, February 26, 2009

Learning That One Can Only Take So Much...Before He Must Crumble.

That's been the lesson of my week pretty much.

See, for 6 weeks, I have had to be strong for everybody else. But for over 11 weeks, I've been trying to deal with my own personal issues. And every time I thought I was done, well blammo, I would be proven wrong.

At first, I went back to square one when I got knocked down. Then it was square two, then three and so on.

Finally, I collapsed emotionally(let me be clear, NO physical collapse this time although the night before, my panic attack DID precipitate a physical collapse that, until now, only Chris and Emily knew about) at 4:30am Cincinnati Time yesterday.

The rest of my Wednesday was, to be brutally honest, a struggle. I fought through my day. I fought to regain the happiness I had once had.

I think I'm getting close to that point but, I don't want to say for sure because it might not be real. It might be another false step up and I might tumble down again.

I hope I am wrong about that.

By the way, this will be one of MAYBE only two blog posts today. I did promise new work from J's brain, and it's coming with the next post in a moment as of 5:30am.

1 comment:

Michelle Dawn said...

I can relate. just as Randy said if you ever need to talk I have the windows messenger halet1073@hotmail.com